Although his musical efforts may have been widely mocked (and for good reason if you watch any of his music videos or listen to his lyrics), the Hoff has released an astonishing 17 albums. If you’ve ever wondered why he pops up in so many movies, it’s probably because he’s still recuperating losses from his music career. Although ‘Jump In My Car’ is definitely the Hoff’s creepiest song, the music video for his cover of ‘Hooked On A Feeling’ easily takes the cake for being the strangest thing you’ll see this week.
Everyone’s favourite former child actor seems to often make strange headlines, but surely nothing will ever top his brief musical career. In 2013, Culkin formed the Pizza Underground, a band who exclusive played Velvet Underground covers with pizza-themed lyrics. Two of their songs included ‘Take a Bite of the Wild Slice’ (a cover of ‘Take A Walk on the Wild Side) and ‘Pizza Day’ (a cover of ‘Perfect Day’). Sadly and perhaps unsurprisingly, the band were booed offstage at one of their first gigs, with Culkin allegedly storming away halfway through a kazoo solo.
Say what you will about Kevin Bacon’s folk band with his brother Michael Bacon, there’s no denying that The Bacon Brothers (legit not kidding) is simultaneously the best and worst band name you’ve ever heard. The band have achieved impressive feats such as appearing on two different children’s CDs and contributing a song to the 2004 film The Woodsman (which Kevin both produced and starred in…definitely not a coincidence). They have however recently appeared in quite possibly the best ad ever:
Although you may only know his musical career for that bizarre, spoken word performance of ‘Rocket Man’, the Star Trek actor has actually released 8 albums (mostly live recordings), with his most recent, Ponder The Mystery, coming out only 3 years ago. Having said that, he’ll never top ‘Rocket Man’.
Unsurprisingly, the performance was further immortalised in a Family Guy parody:
Perhaps not wanting to be left out, fellow Star Trek alumni Leonard Nimoy released five equally campy studio albums, including the highly illogical ‘The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins’.
Although Les Miserables may have slightly salvaged his music career (although this is debatable), Australia’s favourite mobile phone throwing actor has considered himself a seasoned musician for much longer. He’s released music under the pseudonym Russ le Roq, played in bands like Roman Antix, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts and The Ordinary Fear of God, formed a duo with Alan Doyle (aptly titled Crowe/Doyle) and most recently has been performing under his own name. Perhaps he’s thinking that each time the name changes, we’ll forget what has come before. Unfortunately, we remember…
Whilst the action film star does own guitars which previously belonged to musicians like Jimi Hendrix, B.B. King and Bo Diddley, unfortunately none of the skill has washed onto him. Whilst tracks like ‘Talk to My Ass’ and ‘Alligator Ass’ may sound at least slightly interesting, I challenge you to make it through more than 30 seconds. Having said that, I’d never say it to his face, due to the whole ‘martial arts star’ thing.
Eddie Murphy Raw is widely regarded as the actor/comedian’s funniest work, but clearly people are forgetting about the three albums he put out in the late 80s and early 90s. Although ‘Party All The Time’ became an inexplicable top ten single and he did release a song with Michael Jackson (‘Whatzupwitu’), the rest of Murphy’s musical output has been a critical and commercial failure.
Okay, technically his first album The Life of Bruno was released as part of a HBO comedy mockumentary in 1987, featuring the likes of Elton John, Phil Collins, Brian Wilson, Graham Nash, Ringo Starr and many, many more. Willis’ music career is no joke however (in his eyes at least) and he released follow-up albums in 1989 and 2001. Tell me his biggest single ‘Respect Yourself’ isn’t pinnacle 80s.
One of Hollywood’s go-to ‘tough guys’, Joe Pesci actually started out his professional life as a lounge singer, before moving into acting when this didn’t work. This hasn’t stopped him from trying to keep the dream alive, and Pesci has continued to release music throughout his career, including the bafflingly bizarre, Goodfellas-inspired rap ‘Wise Guy’.