By Liliana Occhiuto
Remember that faith in music that our 31 Cover Songs Better Than The Original list created? Prepare to have that faith thoroughly crushed. These covers don’t just suck, they taint the original classics from which they spawned. Proceed with caution.
Kanye West – ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’
Originally by Queen
We kick off the list with an easy target – Kanye West and his take on what is often regarded as one of the greatest songs ever written. When you attempt such a beloved treasure, a little more preparation should probably be done so you don’t end up with a half-arsed and gratingly off-key performance such as this one.
Jessica Simpson – ‘These Boots Are Made for Walkin’
Originally by Nancy Sinatra
Where do we start with this one? Jessica Simpson’s take on the Nancy Sinatra classic doesn’t merely butcher the song, it destroys it. With its tasteless restructuring and soulless performance, this cover should never have been released.
William Shatner – ‘Rocket Man’
Originally by Elton John
This next one definitely earns a spot on the list, but unlike the other selections it’s still damn enjoyable to watch and listen to. William Shatner’s atonal rendition of ‘Rocket Man’ isn’t musically good, but its accompanying video is hilariously cheesy and overwhelmingly absurd.
Avril Lavigne – ‘Chop Suey’
Originally by System of a Down
No words can describe this trainwreck, but prepare to hear ‘Chop Suey‘ sliced and diced in the most horrific way possible. We don’t know what System of a Down did to deserve Lavigne’s pathetic screaming of their lyrics, but surely nothing is worth this punishment.
Crazy Frog – ‘Popcorn’
Originally by Gershon Kingsley
Don’t add irritating and pointless sounds to great tunes. Just don’t do it. The most disappointing aspect of this cover is that the instrumental reimagining isn’t half bad. The Crazy Frog sounds are though.
Scissor Sisters – ‘Comfortably Numb’
Originally by Pink Floyd
Here’s one to leave you feeling uncomfortably numb. Scissor Sisters’ take on the complex song tosses out any sense of genuine despair and artistry evoked by the original.
Brittany Spears – ‘Satisfaction’
Originally by The Rolling Stones
Overly sexualised and trashy, this one is a true abomination. Say goodbye to the angst and yearning felt in the original recording.
Smash Mouth – ‘Under Pressure’
Originally by David Bowie
When attempting a cover, you should probably choose a song that sits well with your voice. ‘Under Pressure’ was written for David Bowie’s incredibly unique and recognisable voice, and it simply sounds terrible as sung by the Smash Mouth lead singer. It’s also weirdly power-poppy, in the worst possible way.
Maroon 5 – ‘Pure Imagination’
Originally performed by Gene Wilder
Although the band should be commended for trying to alter the tone of the original so drastically, the final product sucks. The nail in the coffin for this one is definitely the pointless techno breakdown at the end. It also needs to be said that the fan video for this one looks a lot like a funeral video…
Girls Aloud/Sugababes – ‘Walk this Way’
Originally by Aerosmith (and then with Run-D.M.C.)
Just walk away from this one. Or else prepare to have the badassery of the original tarnished forever.